Busted!
I was trying to capture this guy cruising down the street in hot pursuit of a thief. I finally caught up to him at the light, only to get busted trying to sneak a picture. He was not happy.
Ryan Revolver Reviews: Ghost Rider, Comin’ At Ya
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Nicolas Cage stars once again as Johnny Blaze. This time around Blaze is hiding in Europe, and is called upon to protect a young boy who is being sought after by the devil himself.
Spirit of Vengeance was a HUGE improvement over the first Ghost Rider movie; with more of a gritty feel, as opposed to the pun-tastic nature of the first film. Nicolas Cage’s acting was more erratic, which suits him better than his attempts at serious roles.
A more inclusive supporting cast gave Cage enough to bounce off of, which hid the mediocre storyline between scenes of the transformation process from Blaze to Rider quite well (not to mention the fact that you are watching a guy with a skull for a head that is on fire.)
Now, this is not the best action movie of all times, but it is more than adequate considering who is the star of the movie. I would go see this movie again and suggest that the first Ghost Rider movie be stricken from the record and use this movie as a fresh slate for Nick Cage.
Comin’ At Ya!
Comin’ At Ya! takes place in the wild west, where H.H. Hart is hell-bent on rescuing his kidnapped wife from two brothers. The two brothers, Pike & Polk are kidnapping women all along theRio Grande and then selling them to Mexican Brothels.
This goofy western flick hummed out overblown stereotypes in every scene. The use of 3D was irrelevant & was delivered to the audience as if a 12 year old was in charge of cinematography. The acting was below sub-par, and borderlines on soap opera performances. Tony Anthony was trying to channel his inner Charles Bronson in his role as H.H. Hart, while Gene Quintano was flat as the main villain Pike.
If more substance was added to the final shootout, the movie could have remedied itself. Even the slow motion hand-to-hand fight between Anthony and Quintano was lifeless. Comin’ At Ya! will be playing at select Alamo Drafthouse locations starting February 24th.
Gonzo
Was there ever any doubt as to who Jim Henson named Gonzo after?
Fat Tuesday
Join me at Baker Street on S. Lamar from 5-7. I have a radio remote and you have a chance to see these:
Piso Mojado
Caution: Slippery Piss
Badminton Anyone?
This is why you should not Google Image Search “Gay Beach Sports”
Ryan Revolver Reviews
Ryan Revolver Reviews: Bullhead
Jacky is an intensely formidable cattle farmer who is asked to tag along with his veterinarian as he sets up a deal to supply a big time beef trader with hormones. In Bullhead.
This movie reminded me of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and of Snatch – both films rampant with different activities of criminality that lend themselves to solid development. More is revealed of characters after first appearances, which kept me fixated on the screen. Between cops, an undercover informant, two mechanics, and a counter girl there are several sub stories, which incorporate seamlessly into the story of Jacky. If you do not dive into foreign films regularly, then they can seem more intense than what comes out of Hollywood. Matthias, who plays Jacky, charges into the role. He displays to the viewer that Jacky is more raging animal than gentle giant. His performance is beyond impressive, and consumes every scene in which he appears.
Bullhead will be playing at select Alamo Drafthouse locations starting February 17. Bullhead is nominated for an Oscar in the Foreign Language Film category. The 84th annual Academy Awards take place February 26th.
Risky Vending
I just stumbled upon this bag of vending machine Doritos earlier. At first glance, it seems to be your normal (but over priced) bag of chips. Upon closer inspection, I realized this could be a double or nothing snack gamble I needed in my life.
The bag is awkwardly misplaced between rungs. If purchased, the chips will either: Not come out, come out OR be pushed out with the bag behind it (2 for 1).
Two bags, one or none. Is 85 cents worth the risk?
Pee Chart
I believe this was provided to us by the Boy Scouts of America. “Hey, we don’t want any gays but let us see your pee”.
Sick Pecs Brah!
No really, that’s sick. I see these ads on Facebook all the time. Do guys really buy into this? I thought the elephantiasis look was out?
America’s Favorite Skank
This gallery contains 6 photos.
Photographer Terry Richardson seems to have captured all that is good… okay I mean, bad and nasty in this photo shoot with Lindsay Lohan. Would you? Of course you would. I would. Yes, still.
Ryan Revolver Reviews
Ryan Revolver Reviews: The Women in Black
Okay… Three high school girls are babysitting on Halloween night, and one of the girls’ deranged brothers (who escaped from an insane asylum) is after them…Ummmm. NO! That’s John Carpenter’s Halloween.
Ummmm. What’s the movie? Okay so a special needs kid drowns at a camp because the counselors aren’t paying attention. No, that’s Jason.
Oh I know! A janitor is brunt alive by angry parents because he molested children. Wait, is that Jerry Sandusky? No. Oh, no, I know what movie that is A Nightmare On Elm Street.
Oh yeah I know what movie I was supposed to talk about, The Women In Black
This film was just barely able to elevate my heart-rate. Mr. Harry Potter did not add any lighting or thunder to this. And the women wearing black was only scary due to lighting techniques.
Ryan Revolver Reviews: Chronicle
Three high school students get extraordinary powers in Chronicle…
Not gonna lie, I felt sympathetic towards the Andrew character. Poor kid had it rough between how classmates treated him and his father’s very bad parenting. Chronicle shows what would happen if immature high school students had special powers, you can substitute the words “high school students” with CJ and Chuy if you want too.
The cinematography was bar-none, but that didn’t make up for the fact that the ending scene was yawntastic, and definitely had a “green screen” feel to it. The lack of life experience of the super kids ultimately is what leads to their demise.
This was an interesting concept for a movie, but not interesting enough for me to fly away with it.
Whitney Houston Plans to Delay Zombie Tour
Whitney Houston’s publicist has announced the diva’s plans to indefinitely delay her Back from the Tub Tour. Promoted to start next week at a sold out Betty Ford Clinic with future dates at Promises in Malibu and Meadows Treatment Center in Arizona, the tour is taking a backseat to awaited toxicology reports that take several days to be conclusive, but weeks to report.Houston passed away Saturday night due to unknown and well-speculated shady circumstances, but then hours later announced plans to embark on a worldwide zombie concert tour.
This is not the first time Ms. Houston has had to cancel a tour due to her drug related problems, with the last time being in 2010 on her Nothing Butt Love Tour. Poor sales and crack chain-smoking led her promoter at the time to comment, “It is what it is. She’s comfortable with the show she’s performing. She knows she’s not hitting every note like she used to. But it’s value for money; it’s Whitney Houston warts and all.”
Ticket Soul Master, Living Dead Nation and other promoters have issued full refunds to the throngs of living fans. Her current publicist insisted, “This is not the first timeHouston’s had a problem, but hopefully it will be the last.” She went on to say, “We know this is rigor mortis for the fans, but it’s hard on all of us.” As of press time there were no plans for a Purga Tour-ing.
Dr. Manhattan
Dr. Manhattan let me ride in his limo! I found this old photoshop piece yesterday, had to share.
Drew’s Literary Corner | Valentine’s Day Sonnets
It’s that time where love is in the air and money is magically zapped out of bank accounts, so what better time to share my love of love poetry, namely sonnets. Shakespeare has helped men throughout the centuries get laid with his phrasing of words, and while these will more than likely not have that effect, they may hopefully bring you a chuckle or two. Enjoy!
A Special Sonnet About Someone Special
by Drew Kelly
Whenever I suck on your baby toe,
I remember how you are such a ho.
Bareback, doggy, and the cowgirl reversed –
Having sex with you never seems rehearsed.
Even after I have hit that shit for years,
Your hotpot still brings my phallus to tears
Because it is the bomb my only love
Snatching and holding my dong like a glove.
So on this special day of Valentine,
Please tell me dear that your ass can be mine.
______________________________________________________________
A V-Day Sonnet
by Drew Kelly
Today, my love, I want to give you things
Chocolates, flowers, and a shiny ring
Just one tiny lil thing troubles me some.
Why does it suddenly burn when I cum?
You told me you couldn’t dine with me dear,
Said you’ve had to work late often this year.
And while you have withheld sex as of late,
I can’t help but think you found a new mate.
So I’ll ask this one time and lay it to rest,
Why the fuck is that hickey on your breast?
Hunny Bear
Happy Valentines Day from CJ.
Rub ‘n’ Tug
A perfect commercial for a radio morning show giveaway (if it were 1996): RubnTugGiveaway
Adele Wins 56 Grammys
It was a big night at the Grammys for Adele. The singer won best album, best record and best single, as well as 53 other meaningless trophies. Adele says she plans to keep her favorites then melt down the rest of the awards and sell them to Cash4Gold. Lady Gaga was quoted as saying, “I’d wear that.” Bruno Mars and Paris Hilton added, “Can I sniff that?” However, the most controversial statement came from Chris Brown asking, “Can I hit that, or is it too hot?” Glenn Beck was still at a Country Music Awards after party and was unavailable for comments.
Adele’s dominating performance came as a surprise to many, who have never even heard of Adele due to little or no air play, lack of MTV coverage, and months of cancelled tour dates as a result of a vocal chord hemorrhage. At the end of the night, International Federation of Eating competitor Eric “Chuy” Chimney was recorded saying, “She might not be able to swallow, but she sure can spit… lyrics.” At a press conference after the show, Adele was barely able to contain her excitement or hold her plethora of awards. Jennifer Hudson suggested, “Bitch, put those things in yo’ titties!” Aretha Franklin agreed.
The 56 Grammy’s now all but guarantee that all radio stations, even alt-rock, will retire Foster the People’s Pumped Up Kicks in exchange for Rolling in the Grease.
In other news, 25 Syrians were killed as government forces attempted to break up a protest in Damascus. Unfortunately, none of these protestors were able to see Adele’s Grammy performance prior to being killed.
Herniated Disc
So many choices it hurts.
I Know That Mouse
At last night’s Grammy Awards, Deadmau5 wore a shirt with Skrillex’s number on it. Nice troll bro!
CGJRPC 44 | Black History, Ron Paulitics and a Dramatic Review
CGJRPC 44 | Black History, Ron Paulitics and a Dramatic Review
We begin our tribute to Black History Month, discuss the Super Bowl, the election, a shooting in Austin and read a listener’s review of all 43 podcast episodes. DOWNLOAD: CGJRPC44
CGJRPC Review
After a marathon listening spree, @the_dt_show, decided to review the Can’t Get a Job on the Radio Podcast. Here’s what he had to say:
I did it. I completed a marathon of the “Can’t Get a Job on the Radio Podcast.” I rubbed my face, closed the browser, shut my laptop and looked in the mirror – at a stranger. My eyes – hollow and blood shot; my beard… dear God, my beard was grey. The light flooded in, temporarily blinding me as I opened my bedroom door. I discovered that my roommate had moved out and a family of Guatemalan day laborers had moved in. What the hell happened? How long was I sequestered in this self-imposed hermitage?
I guess, you can say it all started when I met CJ Morgan at a KLBJ remote at Little Woodrow’s in Austin, Texas. I’d been following him on Twitter for some time and have heard Dudley and Bob give him shout outs on their morning show as well. So there he is and we chat for a while, I end up giving him a few bucks for his broken wiener (dog not dick) and I tell him I’ll give his podcast a try. At the time I was in the middle of two other podcast marathons and was unable to listen to CGJRPC until a couple of weeks ago. It was worth it.
Billed as two guys in Radio who can’t get on the radio, but work in radio (paramount to two dudes wanting to get laid but settle for a blow up doll); CGJRPC is possibly the most creatively designed podcast that I have listened to in that they actually mimic a live radio broadcast. They play spoof commercials during the breaks; and for some reason that I’ll never know, Hwy 71 has become an economic hotbed for wolf urine manufacturing, foreign owned karaoke bars, and German sausage factories? Not this guy.
What is fascinating about the podcast is the level of intelligence that is expressed by CJ and his partner (broadcast not life), Chuy Whatshisface. Sorry Chuy, I forgot your last name and quite frankly, I’m too much of a Gen-Xer to actually look it up. Anyway, early on, these tidbits seemed to be few and far between, being liberally sprinkled between bits about dropping deuces and jerking off. The latter topics have tapered off a bit – much like a pinched turd since episode 20ish – not that there’s anything wrong with shit and cum jokes; it’s just cool to see the depth of the dynamic duo as they take on fairly serious current event topics like SOPA/PIPA and the Republican primaries. The podcast has come into its own over the course of their 40+ episodes. CJ and Chuy have refined the process and outline of the show. They retain signature bits like “Pinging the News,” and “Damn that’s Crazy.” They have added a new bit called “Eating with Lamar” which, ironically, makes me never want to eat again. The character sounds as if he is about to succumb to CPHD (Google has the answers). Let’s not forget “First World Problems,” though I think that was more of a situational bit. It had me rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off. Or as the youngsters say ROFLMAO.
I have listened to podcasts that are an hour long and some a bit longer than that. I have also listened to ones the length of CGJRPC. I think for them, the half-hour length is great. They pack the content in and leave the listener wanting more. At least I do; hence my opening paragraph. What it boils down to is hustle and flow. They hustle for thirty minutes and it flows really well. Early on, CJ allegedly had other people sit in the cohost chair, but I think Chuy is the best fit, and I am glad that he’s the permanent cohost. They play off each other well and Chuy has a talent for coming up with punch lines for news blurbs. I think one day in the future some late night talk show host will be telling Chuy’s jokes in his monologue. This would be great for Chuy but for us listeners, it will be sad, sad day. Let’s not dwell on the bleak Chuy-less future. Rather, let’s focus on the present, and the present is filled with Chuy goodness.
CJ is no slack either and his skills are aptly applied to the previously mentioned commercials, and bits like “Eating with Lamar.” In fact if you listen closely you’ll notice that it is CJ’s voice behind many of the digitized audio enhancements of the commercials and bits; and unlike an Italian ship captain, CJ drives the show from beginning to end – keeping things on track.
I have since recovered from my sequestering. The color has returned to my face, my weight is back up to normal, and I no longer have any adverse reactions to light. It was worth it. Now can those fuckers produce the Can’t Get a Job on the Radio Podcast consistently?
Ryan’s Running for President
Looks like Rick Perry’s Hair has some competition! Ryan Revolver has offcially announced he is making a run for the oval office.
Get a Look at Whitney’s Box
In this episode of Cribs, we get a look at Whitney’s Box.
By: @chitobambino & @whitneylemond
Vaughn’s Black Minute: Big Girls
Vaughn’s Black Minute: Big Girls
Introducing Vaughn’s Black Minute. It’s 60 seconds of microphone time in which Vaughn attempts to work out the issues that affect African-American men. In this episode, Vaughn has an important message for big girls. DOWNLOAD: VBM1
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