After a lot of reasearch and trials, I have found 15 tweet – tactics that can help you to become a Twitter Powerhouse.

1) Ask about exciting new Apple products for free.

Reason: People will naturally flock to someone who they assume is tech savvy AND into great deals.

2) Continually threaten a prominent figure or state official.

Reason: The government likes to monitor everything you do. First though, they have to find and follow you.

3) Tell the world you’re really into meeting hot chicks, porn and finding new fetishes.

Reason: Chicks, and I mean HAWT chicks like a guy who is bold and in touch with their inner perv.

4) Follow a bunch of self-proclaimed social media experts, ask for their help, then become a social media expert (they are easy to spot… most have the same number of ‘following’ as ‘followers’.).

Reason: Birds of a feather flock together.

5) Use twitter to login to right-wing chat rooms. Talk about how much you hate Obama and the illegal immigrants that took your job.

Reason: Right Wing Neo-Conservatives are a tight nit community. They love a good racist joke and hate Obama.

6) Create a bunch of fake twitter accounts, follow yourself.
(see @whispyminks , @darkives , @cgjrpc , @perryhair2012 @klbj937 @the_cjmorgan @therealBurtreynolds @TriviawithCJ).

7) Tweet about abortion.

Reason: Ever since that episode of Maude, it seems to be a hot topic.

8) Ask LeVar Burton to retweet a picture of your cat (who is wearing a Geordi La Forge costume)

Reason: Celebrities love two things: themselves and cats. Easy RT.

9) Threaten suicide if more people don’t follow you (no one likes a boy who cries wolf).

Reason: Sympathy, great attention getter. Plus ladies love to “fix” a guy.

10) Ask how to meet hot single women.

Reason: I don’t know why but women seem to follow me in drones (and send links to their nude pictures).

11) Create a fake celebrity account then tweet back and forth with them.

Reason: This will give the illusion that you are popular and interesting (why else would a famous person like you).

12) Go to grad school, start a blog about cats and indie music.

Reason: Snotty, boring, hipster grad student bloggers seem to have thousands of followers.

13) Search #teamfollowback, then follow all those people.

Reason: Everyone wants to be part of team.

14) Just straight up ask how you can get more Twitter followers.

Reason: Social media experts will find and help you.

15) The best overall method is to just follow @theCJMorgan and re-tweet everything he says.

Reason: Because he is the man. Now follow him dammit!