It’s that time where love is in the air and money is magically zapped out of bank accounts, so what better time to share my love of love poetry, namely sonnets. Shakespeare has helped men throughout the centuries get laid with his phrasing of words, and while these will more than likely not have that effect, they may hopefully bring you a chuckle or two. Enjoy!

A  Special Sonnet About Someone Special

by Drew Kelly

Whenever I suck on your baby toe,
I remember how you are such a ho.
Bareback, doggy, and the cowgirl reversed –
Having sex with you never seems rehearsed.

Even after I have hit that shit for years,
Your hotpot still brings my phallus to tears
Because it is the bomb my only love
Snatching and holding my dong like a glove.

So on this special day of Valentine,
Please tell me dear that your ass can be mine.

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A V-Day Sonnet

by Drew Kelly

Today, my love, I want to give you things
Chocolates, flowers, and a shiny ring
Just one tiny lil thing troubles me some.
Why does it suddenly burn when I cum?

You told me you couldn’t dine with me dear,
Said you’ve had to work late often this year.
And while you have withheld sex as of late,
I can’t help but think you found a new mate.

So I’ll ask this one time and lay it to rest,
Why the fuck is that hickey on your breast?