I have something shocking and upsetting to tell you. No one enjoys taking wedding photos and no one wants to see your wedding photos. Why? They are pretentious, dull and cliche. How can you fix it? Here are my tips to improve your wedding pictures:

Get married on Isla Nublar
Shoot her! SHOOT HER!

Be cheeky and show some skin
Sometimes weddings take themselves too seriously. Have fun!

Show some more skin
What makes a wedding therefore making the pictures? Slutty bridesmaids

Invite this kid
Everyone likes a cute little asshole… and besides, he’s clearly abused and needs to get out of the house

Be a Cat
If you want pictures of yourself to be popular, you either need to be a Cat or Kate Upton

Drown the Groom
Nothing more ironic and praying mantis like than killing the man you just married… hopefully he was rich

Invite Darth Vader
If you have celebrities hanging out during  your big day, you will be the envy of all your friends

Marry Jabba the Hut’s Daughter
Picture proof that you married into wealth and power

Sacrifice a friend to Poseidon
This will please the gods and they will smile upon you

Walk all over your husband’s best friends
You’re the bitch that took away their friend, they hate you anyways. So, show them who’s boss