Shroom Stories


An award winning Arizona travel magazine published an article about a delicious edible mushroom that grows in the state. Unfortunately, they forgot to mention you have to COOK the mushroom otherwise you might experience intense hallucinations. As you know, I used to dabble in magic mushrooms, so I will have to tell you another Shroom Story!

So, I am at Stubb’s watching TV on the Radio. It’s Halloween Saturday, so everyone is dressed up in costumes. Both my girlfriend and I take some shrooms.

I just begin peaking….I mean, it’s intense

. Then I look over to my right to see a see of zombies, werewolves and horrible creatures everywhere. At the time, they weren’t people dressed up as monsters, they were ACTUAL monsters.

“Ok, ok,” I thought to myself, “Turn back to the band. Relax. Alright, this is good music.” I start enjoying it again when I feel a tug on my left arm. I ignore it. Then I feel the tug again. It’s my girlfriend telling me she’s about to faint and that needs to leave. NOW.

“Oh man, oh man this cant be happening,” I though, calmly trying to trip balls. We walk to the back of Stubb’s and sit down. I’m still tripping, seeing all these creatures and things, and she’s about to die for all I know.

Then I see security. They start circling us…whispering. Staring. Plotting.

Suddenly a giant man in a red supervisor shirt comes up to us.

“Is that your costume?” I ask. I don’t think he heard me…which is good. He looks at me, then at my girlfriend, then back to me. “Dear god,” I think, “They are probably assuming that I am trying to kidnap this poor woman. I need to explain the situation and that this is my live-in girlfriend and that she’s just high. No, wait don’t mention that we’re high, we’ll go to jail.”
“SHE IS WITH ME! SHE’ iS MINE!” I yell.

Dammit. He gives me a strange look. Then everything starts…whirring.
“EXCUSE ME SIR. IS SHE ALRIGHT?” The guy dressed up as a security guard asks me.

“YEEEES. She’s just too hot and got sick. We were by the stage.”

Wait, what did I just say?

“OK. YOU TWO RELAX,” the guy replies, “WE’LL GET SOME WATER.”

Genius! Perfect response. Oh man, I thought I was done for.

Instead of getting busted for taking shrooms at a concert and getting way too high with my girlfriend, a nice security guard gives us some refreshing water to soothe the trip.

Here’s an older story:

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