Have you ever met someone and instantly knew something was off? Right away you could tell it was not going to work, yet you continued with the relationship. How many red flags will you let slap you in the face? In my long, storied dating career I’ve come across a few – for lack of a better word – nutters.
That’s why I felt the need to repost this info from AskReddit (and as heard on Dudley & Bob) and include my own red flags.
–She’s been arrested more than once for the same thing
This sounds like common sense right? Multiple DWI’s, possession charges, public intoxication and other narcotic related offenses should signal someone who has a substance abuse problem. If she’s been arrested multiple times for domestic violence get the hell out of there NOW.
–Her phone is cracked or broken
Every crazy woman I have ever known has a cracked phone. Not from dropping or stepping on it but throwing it (and being too irresponsible to get it fixed).
–All of her Facebook photos are “modeling” pictures
This need for validation and attention will manifest itself in dangerous ways as the relationship goes on. No amount of hole filling you do will ever fill that emotional hole. Plus, sexy pictures attract all types of creepy guys who will constantly be messaging her.
–Too fast too serious
Beware of the women who always have a new serious beau (you can track this Facebook), have been engaged more than once and say “I love you” within a month. This is a stage six clinger and serial monogamous. They are in love with being in a relationship not you.
–She doesn’t like the idea of you masturbating
Some of the most insecure women I have ever encountered hate that their man might occasionally look at porn – and heaven forbid – masturbate.
“I should be enough of a woman for him”.
Honey, dropping our DNA into a sock on regular basis has been in our DNA since we were eight. At least he’s making love to a computer screen and not another female.
–She’s e-motional and airs her dirty laundry online
Public venting, complaining about men and longing for love online are not how mentally healthy folks deal with their emotions.
–She gets weird and controlling about your social media
If she insists on the two of you “checking into” places and always asks you about people on your networks then she’s extremely insecure. Not to mention she probably stalks your Facebook while boiling pet rabbits.
–If she constantly belittles you or has ever hit, slapped or scratched you
Are you familiar with Phil Hartman and how he died? This type of abusive behavior does not go away it only gets worse as time goes on.
–She’s really attractive and has her shit together
Then why is she single and why is she in to you? Something is up.
–She’s a victim
If she plays the victim constantly, too well, she isn’t the victim.
“Everyone is against me” is a fucking great way to tell if a bitch is crazy
“I hate drama.”
“I don’t cause the drama but it always seems to find me”
–None of her kids have the same last name
–Girls who love horses
Women who are crazy about horses are essentially rich cat ladies.
“Everyone doesn’t like me, my family won’t even talk to me… I don’t know why!”
–She has problems at work
A dead give away is knowing how many people she has problems with at work. 1-2 is typical. 3-4 now I’m skeptical. 5+ she is most likely crazy and the problem.
Overly attached too soon; seems to have loads of free time and no real friends to speak of and I know I might be a minority here, but going straight to something really kinky as well.
–The original NSA
If, after dating for a few days, she grabs your phone without permission and starts going through it.
–Identifies with crazy people
She loves reading Sylvia Plath.
–Dramatic meme user
I have always noticed chicks that post those dramatic Facebook meme/quotes/pictures.
Example: “Sometimes 2 people need to be lost in order to find each other again” with a background pic of a sunset….
Yea, those bitches are crazy.
–They have no female friends
“I’m only friends with guys, girls are just too crazy” At that point I know there’s gonna be something up.
If you meet on a dating site and her profile states she’s not looking for a fuck buddy, yet shortly after you start talking she sends you naughty pictures when you haven’t even met face to face, get the fuck out of there.
When she leaves 11 voice mails in a two hour period.
–Shitty to service workers
Subtle cues: continually looks over your shoulder when you text someone, acts shitty to service workers, is not very clean. This type of insecurity and these cues will be detrimental to a relationship in the long-run.
–No desire in life but to be a mother
A good rule of thumb is crazy in bed means crazy in the head.
–Works at a salon as a hairstylist
–Manipulative crying or pouting
Crying about stupid things. Especially in the context of trying to get her way or convince you of something.
-Quoting Marilyn Monroe
Specifically, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Knowledge is power and now you have the power to avoid getting into a shitty relationship with someone you knew wasn’t right from the beginning. If you have any red flags [we] missed please comment on Facebook or Twitter.
Now go forth and date!