10 Reasons Why Older Guys SHOULD Go to EDM Shows

Fellow men in their thirties: If you are going to Coachella or a dance show and your friends are shaming you, ignore them.

I get a lot of flak for attending EDM (electronic dance music) shows like Girl Talk (who just performed in Austin). I don’t see why. In fact, these types of concerts are perfect for a guy like me! Here are ten reasons why it’s a great idea for a sinlge guy in his 30’s to go to dance shows.

10. It’s all hit music. No need to go see bands perform stupid songs you don’t know. No need to hold out on going to the bathroom or getting a beer because you might miss your favorite song. No fake leaving and coming back for an encore. Just a laptop pumping out hits on a finely tuned playlist.

9. It’s perfectly normal to wear those neon tank tops and pajama pants your aunt bought you for Christmas.

8. All the chicks are wearing bikinis, furry boots and bear hats.  They’re trying to make some sort of fashion statement, but what I think they’re trying to say is “I’m a skank and have daddy issues…”

7. There is never, ever, ever a line for beer (but there’s always a line for orange juice and water).

6. Free massages! In fact, some guy with vibrating gloves will just come up and rub your aching back.

5. The 22 year-old you bought a ticket and drinks for will dance with sweaty, shirtless college guys all night. But if you’re lucky, YOU’LL get to take her home (and she might not puke).

4. If bright lights and lasers cause you to have seizures, people will think you’re a really good dancer…actually people will think you’re a really good dancer no matter what.

3. No one will ever ask you what the name of a song is…because they all sound the same.

2. Girls stumble around like zombies looking for their friend Molly. I don’t know who this chick is but tell them she’s in your car. It’s easier than having sex with fish in a barrel!

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