An Open Letter from God to the Great People of Texas


Hey Ya’ll, it’s me, God.

First off, I’m sorry that I’ve been so damn busy lately.

Now, there seem to be a lot of issues going on, but I want to address one in particular really quick so I can get back to this Boyhood/Birdman issue (Give me time, I’m figuring it out…):

So, when I told ya’ll not to be with a person of the same sex, it was because there were so few of you at the time. I needed you to breed in order to continue the species.

Now, it’s not a problem anymore; if anything, there are WAY too many of you!

(I was all about keeping the population down, but having a kid really changed my perspective on all that)

Personally, homosexual relationships were never that bothersome. I didn’t necessarily create you to do that – but I also created you to grow and develop beyond my original design.

So trust me – it’s cool!

Sorry I can’t elaborate more or stay and discuss that Cowboys/Packers thing (I’m not happy either, trust me on that one) but, I gotta run.

Sincerely,
God
Creator of all Things
Open Letter
PS: watch out when my son comes back. Heaven can change people. It’s like growing up in Pampa, going to UT in Austin and then moving to Houston because you got your girlfriend pregnant.
(some editing provided by @sierrapedraja)
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